Compassion is what gives someone the capacity to forgive. It allows you to forgive a friend, a spouse or a co-worker after you have been hurt.
It is what allows us to endure great struggle so that others may thrive. Parents practice daily compassion to provide for their children and give them more than they had. They will sacrifice their own needs for the love and compassion they feel for their children.
Abuse strips people of their compassion. When people are threatened, they shut down emotionally and physically. Their capacity for normal reasoning and processing become impaired. In many cases, the victims are so impacted that they become closed off and they they may feel that they will never recover even long after the abuse occurred.
Time and time again, victims play the abuse in their heads. Many people wrongly assume that once the abuse is over that the victim should be totally fine, but the real truth is that the abuse haunts them long after they have left their abuser.
Many believe that compassion is just showing compassion for others. It is so much more…
My life completely changed when I realized the importance of showing compassion to myself. I felt, and was told, for most of my life that I brought on the abuse and I hated myself for being so stupid. Every time I got into another abusive relationship, where I thought the other person was something that it turns out they weren’t, I thought there was something wrong with me. Why did I keep choosing these people? Yes, I accept responsibility that I was involved in the decision to be with these people, limited by my own beliefs in what I thought I deserved.
It was compassion that allowed me to forgive myself.
I challenge anyone reading this to look deep into your own thoughts and actions and determine where you are not showing up for yourself. Are you still beating yourself up for what you endured? Are you still asking yourself why did you stay so long? Are you still replaying the tapes of your abuser in your own head?
You must dig deep to find the compassion in your heart for you. No more abuse. No more shame.
If you have been abused, it is compassion that will give you strength and it will renew your faith in the human race…it has to start with giving it to yourself.
Give yourself permission to embrace your loving heart fully and without limits. It needs it.
Show yourself the compassion that you so readily show to everyone else.
Start right now.
More love. More compassion. More freedom.